It has recently come to my attention that I seem to be severely lacking in the "people I know and could consider 'friends'" department. I always go to these monthly meetings where people in my field meet, drink, and socialize, but I find myself always kinda hanging back, just pacing around the room for two hours instead of socializing. I have no idea why, and as much as I try to drum up the confidence to just jump into a conversation with someone, I am just WAY too intimidated by them for some reason.

I always thought I was a little shy, but I dunno, I'm trying to meet new people, make new connections, hell, maybe even meet a girl, but none of that will happen in my current state of what I can only describe as "social awkwardness."

Any tips/clues on how I might deal with this or overcome it?

I'll try my best to give you useful, pertinent advise once I feel like typing it out.

This event is wednesday evening, I'd appreciate some advice.

Well, since it's a geek convention it seems, walk over to someone with a gadget you know something about and make a remark about it. Maybe he/she'll want to show you something about it, etc. I can't really tell what they do at these conventions, so I don't know what exactly to say.

Man, I always had this problem too, and I believe I've managed to partially overcome it with my own will. I mean, I never was fond of psychologists, so I try to reconditionate myself through thinking, learning, talking about it (seems like thats what you're doing).

Something that really helped me was getting in places that I HAD to talk to people, like being on the organization team of an event, etc. Of course, I did it because I wanted it to, and thought that would be a good challenge. My advice would be to start fighting this by getting yourself in situations that will challenge you. Of course, starting with easier ones is a wise choice.

As you might see, that will only put you in confrontation with the problem, to earn you some experience. Overcoming shyness starts more when you actually have to talk to people.

If the problem is to meet people or start the conversation, I think there's two cases: In an event that you know someone a good "tatic" (I don't think it should be called this way, but I can't think of another word now) is to stay with him/her/them, as they can make you meet some other friend much more easily. If you're alone things are harder, but you can still meet people, in several ways. A coment to someone near you, a coment of someone near you... just anything that you can develop a conversation. Just act naturally at these times.

It's not always creepy to jump into people's conversations if you have something interesting to add. If they seem to like some similar things as you and they're not talking about something particularly personal (games and gadgets are the ones I find easiest to jump in), go ahead and offer a viewpoint. If they think you're creepy they'll give you a look, if they don't they'll say something back. Play out the conversation, introduce yourself to them and their companions, and bam.

Go at great lengths to prove how masculine you are.

This includes wearing tight T-shirts, pushing over weaker nerdier people on your way to the punch bowl, and making indiscreet references to your own manhood.

Trust me, it works wonders.

Pfft, Australia is the king of Manliness. Everywhere else in the world has men and women.
In Australia, Women are Men, and men....



They're BLOKES.

That's good advice. I'll be sure to use that



HELL NO!

when meeting someone new I try to introduce myself before I get any shy feelings

i found a really good site with info one how to meet new ppls and girl. aslo deals with the 1st date, but you can use the info for just meeting new ppl as well. as soon as i find it, ill post it for ya!

VGM out...

Using the internet to solve your social problems.

Fool-proof.

It's kind of like when I was nervous about my first kiss and I tried a google search for help on a whim. Sure, there are plenty of suggestions, but in the end I disregarded them all and just went for it. And that's just about the best advice to give... just put yourself out there and go for it. Any awkwardness will rub off quickly.

Yah, I dealing with shyness too. I don't know anybody at my dorm. The feeling of loneliness is stating to eat at me.

I met my next door neighbor once, but all he did was said was, "Hello."

I also meet the dorm's RA or CA whatever it's called. She seemed nice, but I'm not meeting anybody new.

I'm trying to get out and do things. I went to this meeting on Harry Potter hoping that I'd meet someone who enjoyed the same things as me, but it wasn't an ideal place to make new friends. The meeting took over and we talked about the book and stuff of course but I wasn't really able to make friends easily. In my classes I'm having like zero luck at all. Some people I do want to be friends with, leave right after class, and I'm unable to chat with them.

I'm trying but it's not good enough. Lately I've been going down stairs to watch TV and a group of guys hang out and play on their PC's I try to be friendly but they don't notice me at all and just pay attention to there computers. I try to engaging in a conversation and sometimes they respond, but I can tell these guys hang out together all that time and may not like me around.

It's complicated-- I've been emailing my sister everyday now... But now she's too busy and can't always respond- This makes me feel even more unhappy.

I feel happy on this site, but I know it's not going to improve how I deal with peolpe and make friends in the 'real world'.
Not to get things off balance, I do have long time good friends back home. But right now I need a friend and emailing them may or may not serve that balance for me.

I'd try to not use the internet as a crutch or replacement for real-life interactions. That can lead to some oddities down the line.

Ultimately, the advice I could give is to one, branch out, and two, do some research. Aside from the HP club, see on the websites if there are any other cool things to do.

Ideally, you are going to get to know people easiest and fastest in class. Small talk is something I don't really like, but for getting to know one another, it's pretty darn essential. They walk away too fast? Well, walk and talk with them if you can.